1 To Have His Cake (and Eat It Too) ~ Mr. Darcy's Tale Read online

  Inevitably, it happened that the Gardiners wished to see Pemberley. For one, it was a place that Mrs. Gardiner had heard so much about as a child. More importantly to them, it was the former residence of their beloved niece for over six months. Knowing absolutely nothing of the specific nature of the relationship of their niece with the young master, and only that she was a dear friend of his sister, they had no reason not to visit. Of course, Elizabeth felt that she had plenty of reasons not to assent to a day trip to Pemberley, none of which she wished to share. What was she to say? That Mr. Darcy and she had not parted on good terms, she was furious with him, and she had no wish to see him, not even to chance it. Elizabeth guarded her privacy too well. Jane was the only person on earth in whom she had ever confided.

  Elizabeth mentally calculated the odds that she might meet Darcy on their tour of his home. First, she knew he spent only half his time at Pemberley. There were many places he might be—in Matlock, in Kent, at Rosings Park. With Georgiana away on her honeymoon, she thought it was more likely that he would be in town cavorting with Richard. Second, in all her time there, though she was knowledgeable that the home was open to public tours, the family had neither been inconvenienced, nor in direct contact with the visitors. Mrs. Reynolds was diligent in guarding the family’s privacy. Elizabeth figured that as long as she remained on the formal tour, her chances of encountering Darcy were minuscule.

  Her dread soon gave way to excitement, for she longed to see Pemberley again... one last time. When she had left in December, she had not thought she would not be returning. Perhaps the visit would serve to bring her much-needed closure of that chapter of her life.

  ~ ~ ~

  If Elizabeth could but describe the mixture of emotions that flooded her mind as they approached Pemberley, she would admit to a feeling of coming home. Until that moment, she never realised how much she missed the sights, sounds, and the rejuvenating air of Pemberley Woods.

  Mrs. Reynolds and the staff delighted in seeing Elizabeth again. She had brought such liveliness to the great halls of Pemberley when she had resided there.

  “Miss Elizabeth, my dear,” the housekeeper expressed, “it is such a pleasure to see you.” And indeed it was, for Mrs. Reynolds had never known the master to be as happy as he was when she was last there. When he returned over six weeks ago, he was totally dejected. She suspected the reason now stood before her. She continued, “How disappointed Mr. Darcy will be to know that you were here and that he missed you. You see, he is at Matlock and is only expected to return tomorrow.” Mrs. Reynolds studied Elizabeth carefully to gauge her reaction to the news but was unable to discern its impact.

  “Actually, I am travelling with my uncle and aunt. We are staying in Lambton. They wish very much to apply to see the house and the grounds,” Elizabeth said enthusiastically, once having made the proper introductions.

  “Why, it is my pleasure to give your relations a tour of Pemberley. However, you my dear, should not feel obliged to join us. I imagine you wish to revisit at your own leisure. You go right ahead while I attend to your relatives,” she insisted.

  With Darcy far away in Matlock, Elizabeth inwardly breathed a deep sigh of relief that she would not see him. Elizabeth gladly conceded to Mrs. Reynolds’s directive and quickly made her way out of the house to one of her favourite paths. She lost track of time as she ambled about the grounds, nostalgically. Though she was not dressed to ride, she longed to see Bella once again. On her way to the stables to visit with Bella, Elizabeth caught sight of Darcy.

  The two of them stood frozen in their steps. Surprised beyond measure, they simply stared at each other. Darcy wondered if Elizabeth could be merely a figment of his imagination, a product of his desire. Elizabeth wondered if her luck could be any worse. Realising that it was truly Elizabeth, Darcy wanted to run to her and sweep her into his arms. Elizabeth wanted to run away. Instead, she awaited Darcy’s approach.

  “I thought you were away. Mrs. Reynolds said you were in Matlock,” she awkwardly declared.

  “No... no, I am not. Actually, I arrived at Pemberley a short while ago without informing Mrs. Reynolds of my return.”

  “I am so sorry for intruding upon you like this. I wanted to see Pemberley again, one last time. You must believe me, I had planned to stay on the tour to avoid any chances of seeing you,” cried Elizabeth, by now overly embarrassed.

  “Please do not say that, Eliz... Miss Elizabeth. You honour me by your presence. I have missed you terribly these past weeks.” Darcy took her hand in his and raised it to his lips to impart a light kiss. He asked, “Where are you staying?”

  “I am staying at the inn in Lambton. I am here with my aunt and uncle.”

  “So, are you enjoying your trip? How long do you intend to visit?”

  “A little under a week—my aunt has more friends in Lambton whom she plans to see.”

  “Let us find them at once. I wish to invite you all to stay here at Pemberley during your visit.”

  “I assure you that is not necessary.”

  “Please, I insist. Besides, Georgiana will return from her wedding trip in a few days, and she will want to spend as much time with you as possible before she leaves Pemberley for her new home in Stafford.”

  “Then, perhaps I shall return when she arrives.”

  “Please do not leave, Miss Elizabeth,” he urged. “At least let us see if your uncle and aunt will accept my invitation.”

  Elizabeth knew not what to think of Mr. Darcy’s rather improbable plea. Before she could protest further, he had already engaged her arm in his, and they were on their way to the house in search of her relatives.

  Upon locating the Gardiners on the tour of his home, Elizabeth made the introductions. Darcy greeted them most cordially and welcomed them to Pemberley. He further astonished Elizabeth by offering to conduct the rest of the tour himself, thereby relieving Mrs. Reynolds of the task.

  Elizabeth marvelled at the extent of Darcy’s graciousness towards her relatives. Of course, she had seen Darcy put a pleasing persona forth before. He was adept at masking his true sentiments by charming people when it suited his purposes. Scarcely knowing what to make of his present demeanour, she thought to herself... he seems truly genuine.

  Darcy provided an extensive tour of the grounds. All throughout, Mrs. Gardiner reflected upon the many letters from her niece, each expounding upon the majesty of Pemberley; she appreciated Elizabeth’s overwhelming praise. Upon pointing out his well-stocked lake, Darcy invited Mr. Gardiner to take advantage of all that Pemberley offered by accepting his invitation to stay at Pemberley for the rest of their trip.

  As surprised as Mr. Gardiner was to receive such an invitation, he was not of a mind to say no. He was extremely curious about the enigmatic Mr. Darcy. He understood from Elizabeth that Mr. Darcy was class conscious, haughty, and taciturn. Her description hardly fit the man who had extended the warm invitation. The matter that enticed him the most was that it might be his only chance to know more of the man who had been responsible for his niece’s welfare for so long. Whenever Elizabeth had visited with them while she was in the Darcys’ service, she had spoken enthusiastically of the former Miss Darcy, but she rarely had spoken of Mr. Darcy. Mr. Gardiner did not intend to pass on the opportunity to learn more about the young man.

  Having received Mr. Gardiner’s acceptance, Darcy led the party to the drawing room. He parted from them briefly to make his staff available to arrange for their move from the inn at Lambton to his home, post-haste.

  Once Darcy made off to attend to his guests, it delighted Mrs. Reynolds to see that his spirits had lifted appreciably. Without giving it any thought, Mrs. Reynolds had the staff prepare Elizabeth’s apartment for her stay. Upon the master’s instructions, it had remained undisturbed since her departure last December. The staff readied apartments for the Gardiners in the guest wing.

  Darcy’s guests settled in their respective apartments in time to prepare for dinner. When a maid showed the Gard
iners to their apartments, they expressed concern that they were not accompanied by their niece. The maid explained that Miss Elizabeth had gone to her own apartment in the family wing. Expressing their concern to one another, they concluded that since Elizabeth had lived safely under Mr. Darcy’s protection for well over a year, they would not question her. It was obvious that the staff deferred to her. They treated her like a member of the household. They trusted Elizabeth. They hoped Elizabeth knew what she was about.

  Dinner was an intimate and enjoyable affair. They dined in the small, informal dining room. While Darcy sat at the head of the table, he was sure to have the Gardiners seated on either side of him, with Elizabeth seated next to her aunt. Darcy and Mrs. Gardiner discussed, at length, their common knowledge of the town of Lambton. He also spoke enthusiastically with Mr. Gardiner on sporting topics. Elizabeth watched the scene before her with great contemplation. After dinner, Darcy invited Mr. Gardiner into his study to enjoy a glass of port before rejoining the ladies in the drawing room.

  Once alone with Elizabeth, Mrs. Gardiner remarked on the general splendours of Pemberley and eventually on its young master.

  “Lizzy, why were you worried about coming here? I know we did not expect to see the great man himself, but it has turned out quite pleasantly. He is so kind and considerate, not at all as you described him.” Mrs. Gardiner went on to comment on the very pleasing aspects of his mouth when Darcy spoke, as well as the air of dignity of his countenance, which gave a favourable idea of his heart.

  Elizabeth demurred. “I can hardly imagine what has brought about this transformation.”

  “Can you not, my dear?” her aunt asked sceptically.

  “Indeed, I cannot. Though I can admit to having seen evidence of his willingness to change when confronted with...” Elizabeth paused, “oh never mind what I was about to say.” She was not about to confess that the only time she had known him to change was when she rebuked him. She asked herself, Have my reproofs affected a change in him to such a vast extent as his behaviour suggests?

  Upon the gentlemen’s return, Darcy mentioned to the Gardiners how much he had enjoyed it when Georgiana and Elizabeth had played duets on the pianoforte after dinner, thereby prompting Mr. Gardiner to insist that Elizabeth play for them. Darcy eagerly offered to turn the pages. Though Darcy was overcome by her nearness, he did his best to follow along with her performance and turn the pages at the right time. The uneasy tension they both had felt earlier in the afternoon was slowly fading. It seemed the two of them had tacitly agreed to put their differences aside for one evening.

  Elizabeth had not a clue what to make of the day’s events. That Darcy was extremely considerate, at times even solicitous, of her relatives was one thing. It was another that her relatives were thoroughly approving of him. She wondered what had brought about such a change in the man she thought she knew so well.

  The fact was that the Gardiners’ views on the distinctions between rank and privilege were never so naïve as their niece’s. They lived with it every day. It was a surprise for both Gardiners finally to meet Mr. Darcy and witness no such pretensions on his part, to say the least, especially as Elizabeth had spoken otherwise of his character.

  As for Darcy, himself, with so much to contemplate, he knew he would find no sleep that night. Elizabeth was in his home again and just down the hall. He vowed he would do everything in his power to keep her in his life. He had been granted the second chance he had prayed for.

  ~ ~ ~

  The next morning, Elizabeth came down to the breakfast room dressed in her finely tailored blue riding habit. She begged her uncle and aunt’s forgiveness that she would not join them on the morning calls on their friends in Lambton. She simply wanted to spend the day riding Bella and rambling about the grounds of Pemberley. When Darcy offered to assign a riding escort to her, she assured him she would be fine and promised not to venture too far. Darcy knew better, but he did not protest. Besides, he had the perfect escort in mind. After grabbing a roll, Elizabeth wished her uncle and aunt a pleasant day and headed for the stables.

  Darcy headed out immediately upon the Gardiners’ departure for the morning. He rode urgently, directly to the temple. He spotted Elizabeth standing near the pond, seemingly miles away. She startled slightly when she first became aware of his presence there. Securing his horse, Darcy spoke out, “How did I know I would find you here?”

  “I warned you, sir. This has become my favourite spot in all of Pemberley,” she said. Elizabeth was not surprised completely that Darcy had followed her. Despite the pleasantness of the previous evening, there remained between them many things that needed saying.

  Darcy tentatively approached Elizabeth and said, “It gives me great pleasure to share it with you.” Taking her hand, he continued, “I have missed you more than you know. I am so sorry for all the pain that I caused you.

  “You must believe me, I never intended to hurt you or offend you with my offer. I was so afraid of losing you in my life; I was grasping at straws. I now can see how insulting it must have been.”

  Elizabeth attempted to withdraw her hand. Darcy refused to let go. He continued, “One part of your letter remains with me and gives me reason to hope.” Darcy lifted his eyes to hers. “Were you in love with me? Do you love me? Because, I must confess, you were correct about my feelings. I do love you, most ardently. I have always loved you.”

  “Sir,” Elizabeth wanted very much to speak.

  Darcy drew her closer and placed his hand on her cheek, “Please, let me continue. I love you. These past weeks have been a torment, not knowing how you were or even where you were. I love you. I never wish to part from you from this day forward. Please end my agony by doing me the honour of accepting my hand.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she listened to Darcy speak the words she had longed to hear. He looked into her eyes and whispered. “Please do not cry. Please say you will be mine, Elizabeth. I want you, and I need you. I can no longer bear to live without you.”

  Elizabeth remained silent. She gradually broke away from Darcy’s grasp and turned to face the pond. “Please do not turn away. This is our chance. You are here, and I cannot bear to see us part ever again.” Darcy pulled her back into his arms and touched her cheek lovingly. “I am ready to love you the way you should be loved, the way you need to be loved, and the way you want to be loved.”

  Darcy felt even if Elizabeth loved him, her reluctance was understandable. He had been selfish and prideful his entire life and especially towards her. How was she to know he had changed? Holding Elizabeth loosely within his caring embrace, in between placing light kisses on her temple and her cheeks, he murmured, “Say yes... please, say yes. I have changed. I am no longer the self-absorbed person you once knew. You are the one who is most important to me... only you. I adore you. I beg of you, let me be the one to give you something— wonderful.”

  “You hurt me,” Elizabeth spoke poignantly, pulling away slightly to study his face.

  Darcy nodded his head in acknowledgement of the veracity of her sentiments. “I know. I am so sorry.”

  “Do not do it again.”

  “Never again, not if I can help it.” He touched her face. “Does that mean you forgive me, and you will accept my hand?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes?”

  “Yes, I love you.” Elizabeth professed. Overcome with delight, Darcy swept her up and spun her around before gently placing her back on her feet and imparting a tender kiss on her brow.

  “Elizabeth, thank you, I feel as though I am the luckiest man on earth,” he said. “I plan to spend each day of the rest of my life endeavouring to be a man truly worthy of your love and affection,” he murmured as the two stood, their foreheads pressed together while Darcy clutched both of her hands to his chest. Darcy moved one of his hands to cup Elizabeth’s face, tilting it upwards to admire her beauty. Irresistibly drawn to one another, both closed their eyes as their eager lips touched fo
r the first time, allowing a taste of what they both felt they had missed all of their lives. Increasingly, their kisses grew more passionate. “Do not move,” he said as he released her. He walked over to his stallion and retrieved a blanket.

  He spread the blanket on the ground before her. After removing both of their riding jackets, Darcy helped Elizabeth settle into a comfortable position. He then sat behind her, encircling her in his arms. The two sat in that fashion for a while, delighting in the splendour of the spot that would forever hold a memorable place in their hearts, silently relishing in the intimacy of the moment.

  Brushing her hair aside, he placed a kiss behind her ear and whispered, “This feels so right to have you here. You belong here.”

  Feeling at home in his comforting embrace, Elizabeth nestled a bit closer and turned to face Darcy, her eyes sparkling with joyousness. She smiled and said, “It is a pleasure being here with you like this. I have missed our closeness.”

  “Indeed, we have grown very close this past year. I am so thankful that I did not shatter it all with my foolish proposal.”

  “Please, think no more of all that. I believe you will have to learn some of my philosophy.”

  “And what is that?” he asked with his head resting upon her soft shoulder, breathing in the sweet fragrance of her delicate skin.

  “To think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure,” she said, prompting Darcy to chuckle.

  He kissed the back of her slender neck again. “Are you comfortable?” Elizabeth nodded affirmatively. “Are you sure? Is there nothing I can do to make you more comfortable?” he asked as he continued gratifying her senses with soft kisses along her neck.